Losing one's Life to Save it
In the weeks leading up to my ordination, I started having dreams of being on the edges of cliffs with my back against a rock wall, just enough room to stand up without moving and a deep chasm just in front me. I would wake up scared, with my heart beating rapidly, I am going to fall over. One morning of again telling Sandee of the latest dream, she responded ‘why don’t you just jump into the chasm, after all it is just a dream?’
When I read the line in this week’s Gospel Mark 8: 27-35 ‘For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it’ I thought of my dreams. In dream language, I was trying to save my old life, fearful I would lose it. Looking back now, the life I got, over the last two and three quarters years, is the wonderful life I have saved.
Sandee’s words were prophetic. By suggesting I jump into the dream chasm, she was unknowingly encouraging me to surrender to God's call fully, to trust the unknown instead of clinging to the familiar wall. My dreams mirrored the internal struggle of letting go of my old self, my old life, and the fear that came with stepping into something new and uncertain.
The Gospel passage resonated deeply because it encapsulated that same truth: losing oneself for the sake of Christ leads to a life far richer than the one we try to hold on to. Now, as I look back on my journey, I realize that the ‘chasm’ I once feared was not a threat but an invitation. By leaping into it, I found the life that God had prepared for me—a life of service, purpose, and fulfillment beyond anything I could have imagined.
Very often, going for a deeper life of Jesus and the Gospel, can feel like leaping into an unknown chasm. It can evoke a frightening feeling of falling into the deep. But there is the promise of Jesus, that we will be caught, upheld by grace. In losing what we think we need to hold onto, we gain something far greater: a life aligned with God’s purpose, full of meaning, and anchored in the assurance that God’s hands are always there to catch us.
Perhaps, my friend, you are also facing your own dream chasm. If so, I encourage you to trust in the One who calls you forward. That leap of faith, though daunting, is not a step into emptiness but into the fullness of life that Jesus promises. Don’t be afraid to let go of what holds you back, for in doing so, you open yourself to the abundant life God has waiting for you. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey—God’s grace will meet you in the leap, and His hands will be there to catch you. Take the step, and see where His love will lead you.
I encourage you to join my Life Transition program, by clicking on the link below, where you will find support to help you in your leap of faith.
Your homely hit a spot in me, Deacon I really feel I’m holding onto my old life, my old self in someways waking up anxious during the night or in the morning. If I leap, I still hold onto a rope as a safety measure. Half jumping half holding on it’s been my stance recently.
Interestingly today I read a passage from Isaiah that resonates with what you said:
Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.